Alive HR

This morning, I gave my son my standard morning send-off: “Have a happy day.” I’ve been saying this for almost as long as I remember.

He responded, “And may you have many hirings.” I really got a kick out of that, although that’s not the point of this post. My point is that that way we send our children into the world betrays our values.

I could say any number of other things, such as, “Be good, son,” or “Don’t cause any trouble, now,” or “Listen to the teacher and follow the rules, or “Make me proud,” or “Work hard,” or “Don’t embarrass me, son,” or even the very bland, “Have a nice day.”

But I don’t say that, because none of that has anything to do with what I care most about. I want nothing more than my child to be happy in the world. I don’t mean that in a superficial, flighty way, i.e. by having the false sense that we can be happy and self confident by being given everything we want without effort. Instead, I hope he will do the hard work that results in a balanced, happy life; that he will feel self confident as a result of efficacy–not entitlement–through figuring out what is important to him, striving for his goals, by being persistent and courageous and making something good happen. By taking time to make friends; by cultivating those friendships and making them last. By bonding with others over a good laugh and hard teamwork. Or having fun with people he cares about. Or by following his passions (in his case, wrestling, martial arts, parkour, acrobatics, jumping, climbing, diving), even if they scare his mom. By feeling good about himself for his accomplishments and character, not for superficial things like money or looks. These are all things that lead to a happy life, in my book.

My son and I talk about a lot of things. We talk about teen suicides and pregnancies,  young folks felled by violence or auto accidents.  “If anything ever happens to me,” he once said as we talked, “just know that I died happy.”

God forbid that anything would happen to him, but in that moment, I felt that I had accomplished my job as a parent.

What does this have to do with human resources, you may wonder? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m always thrilled when a naturally happy candidate walks through my door. As HR people, we can knock ourselves out trying to create the right atmosphere to foster satisfaction and engagement, but if someone is by nature unhappy, it’s probably going nowhere. They will grouse and complain and shoot themselves in the foot and make us and everyone around them completely miserable in the process. On the other hand, a naturally happy employee will work with us in a synergistic way. They help us feel alive as an organization, inspire us, help us reach our goals, knock our ideas out of the ballpark.

When I encourage my son to be happy, I feel like I’m cultivating a future, engaged worker who is self-motivated, loves what he does, can contribute so much to the bottom line of his future employer and can be rewarded for doing the same.

Photo: yep, that’s my son and his friend and my son….