Last week, I wrote about ten funny resume mistakes. This week, I wanted to do the same with interviews, but as I look back, I have to admit that hilarious moments in interviews are not as frequent as smiles over resumes. Here are my top five:

1. This candidate was so nervous at her first professional interview that she accidentally barged into the men’s room instead of the ladies’. Okay, I admit it: that person was me!

(Lol!)

2. An immigrant interviewee showed up with her infant. Rather than send her on her way, I  decided to do some quick Information &  Referral around immigration, child care and careers. In my office, you guessed it: she pulled up her shirt and started feeding her baby, with no attempt at any kind of cover.

(Despite being Africa-born and raised, I have to say,  this was a bit much for me in a business setting.)

3. A yound woman arrived wearing a tiny, short skirt that couldn’t have encompassed more than two ounces of fabric. Seeing her, I tried to compose my features into a suitably neutral expression and probably failed miserably. Oblivious to my discomfort,  the girl shimmied as she tugged her skirt a fraction of a centimeter lower, giggling, “I’m so glad I dressed up today!”

(Okay…! Moving on.)

4. When we asked a candidate why he hadn’t secured a certain professional certification, the interviewee candidly replied,  “Laziness.” He went on to qualify: “Well, that and women!”

(Blatant honesty is the best policy?? I’m not so sure…)

5. As we passed the water cooler and I made my standard offer, “Would you like something to drink?”,  this candidate said, “No thanks, I just had a six pack.”

(I like humor as much as the next guy. But this reply is really going out on a limb!)

Since I could only come up with five, I am relying on you to supply a few more! Look forward to reading your responses.

photo by esteban

Early = on time, and on time = late. We all know that bit of interview wisdom. But when is early TOO early?

Recently, a candidate showed up an hour before the interview. That’s too early.

I had one hour of unscheduled (i.e. meeting-free) time that day, which “Mr. Smith” disrupted with his uber-early arrival. When the receptionist told me that Mr. Smith was there,  I had to stop what I was doing and respond. Had I, God forbid, made a mistake in scheduling? It was unlikely but possible. The receptionist checked for me, and it turned out that no,  Mr. Smith *knew* he was an hour early. I asked the receptionist to suggest Mr. Smith go out and get some coffee.

These exchanges left me growing more and more irritated. I forced myself to focus on my projects at hand,  pushing Mr. Smith out of my mind. But it was a bit of a struggle and an annoyance to boot.

Honestly, by the time his interview rolled around, I was feeling a little pissed off. If you’re a job seeker, that’s not the way you want to start an interview, right?

Arriving an hour early for your interview is like showing up an hour early for a dinner party. It’s disruptive to your host, not to mention presumptuous.

When you interview, obviously it’s great to allow extra time in your travel route, and it’s great to show enthusiasm, etc. But if you arrive as early as Mr. Smith, do yourself a favor and kill some time before making your entrance.

• Go get coffee.
• Go for a walk.
• Meditate in the park.
• Practice your interview answers.
• Read or listen to music in the car.
• If you live in DC, go drive around the beltway one more time.

And then, ten minutes before the appointed time, saunter in relaxed and prepared. Perfect timing!

Image by LeoReynolds

We all have defining moments and this was mine. As an HR newbie, I chatted with another nonprofit manager during a seminar break. My colleague, who also worked at a nonprofit, generously shared her hiring approach with me:

“I don’t consider the interview to be complete until the applicant is in tears.”

My response is forgotten, but her words are embedded in my brain. I was aghast. Tears? Tears are required to determine whether the candidate is the right fit for your agency? What does that say about your organization? And why would the candidate even want to work there after such an ordeal?

I decided on the spot to take an opposite approach. First of all, no trick questions. (Well, I’ve experimented with asking “Tell me about a time someone else did you wrong. How did you handle it?” Here I’m looking for someone who doesn’t have a long list of horror stories and a pile of bones to pick.) I don’t ask you what books are on your nightstand or what animal you embody, I ask behavioral questions about your experience and the job in question.

Secondly, I’m Mr. Nice Guy. I believe that the more relaxed someone is, the more likely it is they will share what I need to know.  Think of the TV detective Columbo, if you can remember that far back. And they may also notice that it’s not just me who is ‘nice;’ the front desk staff were welcoming, other counselors stopped by and introduced themselves, and that people are generally smiling and happy to be at work.

Thirdly, I believe an interview is a conversation, not a contest.

None of this should suggest that I’m an easy interviewer. I’ve interviewed thousands of people—mostly would-be counselors to support people with disabilities—and I know very quickly how applicants stack up against all others who have come before.

I am pleasant, I ask questions that relate to the job, I watch and I listen to what they say and what they don’t say. A person can memorize answers but they can’t change their fundamental language patterns. Their use of language tells me all I need to know.

And what is it I need to know? Sorry, I can’t give all my secrets away!