Several weeks ago, I wrote about my pledge to improve the experience of job applicants to my organization.

And I’m committed, totally committed,  to doing what I can to making my application process more positive.  At the same time, I can’t help but notice that applicants probably have no idea of some of the challenges I encounter every day with applicant communication.

I want to tell my HR side.

Did you know that:

Approximately 20% of the resumes I call list phone numbers that are either out of service or have voice mail queues that won’t accept additional messages? When sending out your resume, pick your contact number carefully. If you’re contemplating switching cell carriers in the near future, use a land-line as your primary number. Check your messages frequently to keep your message queue low. Advertising your overload of unanswered messages does not bode well for any positions involving follow-up and customer service.

Almost half the time, applicants have the default, sing-song automated message on their voice mail (“You have reached 2-4-0….”), leaving me unsure I’ve reached the correct party. When you’re job hunting, record an outgoing message that includes your name. While you’re at it, take off the bedroom music and anything that is TMI or makes me roll my eyes and crack up in disbelief.

Other times, I leave messages or send emails that are not returned. If you’re no longer interested, give me a courtesy call or e-mail to let me me know. Believe me, it won’t hurt my feelings, but I’ll be glad to close the loop. And you come out looking really good, and who knows, maybe you’ll want to apply for a different position with the company later.

Also, many times, I call someone’s home phone to encounter one of the following. A family member answers and declines to take a message, instructing me to call on Thursday after 1 p.m. A  child–who is old enough to pick up the phone but not old enough to write a message–answers and offers to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Or a family member answers but is so surly and rude that I cut the call short.  Solution: Don’t use a family number as your primary contact number if you can avoid it. If you have to, e.g. your cell phone is down, give strict and detailed instructions–upon pain of death!–to anyone who will be answering the phone.

I’m often recruiting for hourly positions, and a lot of the applications are riddled with typos and formatting errors, such as fonts changing mid-sentence, resumes sent in all caps, and typos that are particularly disastrous.  I am not a perfectionist or a purist by any means. I’ll tolerate a few typos and spelling errors because we’re all human and you know what, I make mistakes, too. But when your application crosses the invisible line and makes me laugh out loud for reasons that don’t advance your career, I have to be honest, I’m not calling you.

Here’s another thing: on a daily basis, several candidates leave messages I can’t return. Either they forgot to leave their name or they forget to leave their number, or I can’t decipher either one. Or I can’t figure out who the heck they are, because they just say, “This is John, returning your call.”   These are probably the same people who later leave a second, irritated message, “This is Mnmful. I left you a message last week, and you STILL haven’t called me back.” (In case you’re wondering, leaving messages like that doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy and it doesn’t light a fire under my butt to run to figure out who Mnmful is.)

Another sizable group are simply unqualified. Let’s be practical:  if you meet none of the qualifications, in this economy, someone else is landing that interview. You’re just one more person I have to catalog and respond to. Think of it this way: if you applied for a job that was a perfect fit for you in every way, would you appreciate less-than-personal attention because I have to spend untold hours responding to  hundreds of applicants who are not qualified?

So as a job seeker, when you’re commiserating with others about the horrible response rate you get from HR and hiring managers, remember that at least some of the time, someone may be trying to reach you. And there are steps you can take to make that just a little easier.

Happy job hunting!

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Last week while web surfing, I stumbled upon a local professional sports  team’s website and clicked their Employment page. I quickly noticed all listed jobs were in fact internships with this disclaimer, “All MoCoSo* internships are unpaid and do not provide any living accommodations.”  Interesting, I thought. I wondered if the unpaid internships were legal arrangements, but I couldn’t find enough information on the website to help me determine.

The summer is upon us. Jobs are tight and a growing number of young people may be seeking internships as a way to “do something constructive” Read the rest of this entry »

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Recent events make it clear that a certain number of people didn’t get the memo about what to wear to their job interview, not to mention a few other basics. Starting with the small, silly stuff, and moving up to the more startling, my office has seen all this in the last months.

• Reason for leaving last job: “Quit.” (Could you elaborate?) Another person answered: “At-will employment.” (I’m left wondering which Read the rest of this entry »

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In morning carpool the other day, I put on the  Hot 99.5 radio show for the benefit of the teenagers. Morning show host Kane reported on hiring a recent intern (and he said her name, but I forgot it). Anyway, the story was that later, after she was hired,  she mentioned that during her original Skype interview, she was trashed. Nervous, she’d consumed a large quantity of  Caribbean rum before her 10:30 a.m. interview.

Kane was [or pretended to be?] really offended by this, and told her he wouldn’t have hired her if he’d known. The other morning show Read the rest of this entry »

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Thumbing through the most recent Readers Digest magazine, an Ask Laskas column caught my eye. I’m sorry that I can’t link to the actual column because it’s not included on their online version of the magazine, but here is the scenario described on page 59 of the May, 2010 print edition:

“Wondering” explains that hubby was laid off after 20 years at the same job. For the last decade, he has been very involved in Alcoholics Anonymous, mentoring, speaking, and holding volunteer offices.  She wants to know: should he include this A.A. leadership experience on Read the rest of this entry »

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Want an easy way to stand out from other job applicants? It may sound ‘old school,’ but send a thank you note  after your interview.

As a human resources person I’d say this is a very easy way to stand out.’ I get very few thank you’s and believe me, I notice each one.

In addition to satisfying any questions of etiquette, you can use a thank you note to reinforce key points from your interview–or to introduce brilliant answers that escaped you in the pressure of the moment.

With a thank you note, you check in and you also communicate continued interest. And it’s one more opportunity to market your gifts and potential contributions.

It doesn’t have to be long; doesn’t have to be fancy. Three or five sentences by e-mail should suffice. It’s quick, much easier than your cover letter, and a lot of bang for the buck.

photo credit: J Star

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Last week, I wrote about ten funny resume mistakes. This week, I wanted to do the same with interviews, but as I look back, I have to admit that hilarious moments in interviews are not as frequent as smiles over resumes. Here are my top five:

1. This candidate was so nervous at her first professional interview that she accidentally barged into the men’s room instead of the ladies’. Okay, I admit it: that person was me!

(Lol!)

2. An immigrant interviewee showed up with her infant. Rather than send her on her way, I  decided to do some quick Information &  Referral around immigration, child care and careers. In my office, you guessed it: she pulled up her shirt and started feeding her baby, with no attempt at any kind of cover.

(Despite being Africa-born and raised, I have to say,  this was a bit much for me in a business setting.)

3. A yound woman arrived wearing a tiny, short skirt that couldn’t have encompassed more than two ounces of fabric. Seeing her, I tried to compose my features into a suitably neutral expression and probably failed miserably. Oblivious to my discomfort,  the girl shimmied as she tugged her skirt a fraction of a centimeter lower, giggling, “I’m so glad I dressed up today!”

(Okay…! Moving on.)

4. When we asked a candidate why he hadn’t secured a certain professional certification, the interviewee candidly replied,  “Laziness.” He went on to qualify: “Well, that and women!”

(Blatant honesty is the best policy?? I’m not so sure…)

5. As we passed the water cooler and I made my standard offer, “Would you like something to drink?”,  this candidate said, “No thanks, I just had a six pack.”

(I like humor as much as the next guy. But this reply is really going out on a limb!)

Since I could only come up with five, I am relying on you to supply a few more! Look forward to reading your responses.

photo by esteban

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Here are some of the more humorous resume moments I’ve experienced recently. Any identifying information has been changed not just to protect the innocent but also to prevent other HR professionals from poaching my talent pool!

This post is intended as light-hearted humor and not what I’ve heard described as “HR Tone“.  Sometimes we all just need to laugh at the silly mistakes we all make.  Here’s a story to show I can laugh at myself. Years ago I applied for an human resources position at the Nature Conservancy. Later as I reviewed my materials I saw  I’d mistyped the organization name as Conservatory. D’oh! No wonder I never heard back. You can be sure I was more careful the next time.

My top Ten This Year

1. Stretch. I was looking for a HR Coordinator. One resume didn’t include any human resources experience or the requested degree. But he was a certified lifeguard!  You never know when that might come in handy, e.g. for all those company picnics people seem convinced HR should plan!

2. Say what? One cover letter said, “Please check my profile (encl herewith) for more details, although I’ve presented a crux herewith in this introductory note.”

Plain English is fine.

3. TMI. One young lady included “pole dancing” in her interests.

Not appropriate unless you’re applying to work at a ‘gentleman’s club.’  Double oops: My organization is church-affiliated.

4. Brevity is king.

“Short Resume for Joan Cannon

I am a mature person, very responsible, and very reliable. I completed many courses such as [lists eleven].  Please e-mail me using jcannon@whatever.com or call me at [number].”

This approach, while free-thinking, really doesn’t tell me anything I need to know except that Joan is a woman of few words and is known to cut corners.

5. Wanted. “As shown in the attached resume.I have,extensive (3years) experence working with people.I am very hard working,conviction and drug free.”

He won’t stay conviction-free for long; he’s obviously wanted by the Punctuation and Spelling Police!

6. Love, love love. “I love art, music, theatre and working with people. I am industrious and a very good cook! Alos, I love everyone!”

Love the youthful enthusiasm, just wish it extended to use of the spell checker.  (Typically we would not suggest including hobby information on a resume. In this case, it was not inappropriate since she was applying for a position that included both cooking and recreation.)

7. No she didn’t! “I am a very determined and hardworking individual whom pays extraordinary attention to detial as well as multi-tasks well.”

Suggestion:  Don’t claim to be detail-oriented because it only makes any mistakes all the more glaring. Let your attention to detail speak for itself.

8. Gmail is free mail.

“From: Michelle [mailto: hotsexyluv@whatever.com]

My background, experience and knowledge would be a benefit to your orgainzation.”

Michelle, thanks, but I’m actually not so sure your experience and knowledge is a good fit for this job. First, log into Gmail and set up a plain old boring account for MichelleSmith.  Then spell check. Good luck!

9. Oh yeah? “Extra-circular Activities: throwing parties in clubs.”

My first thought was, now here’s a well-rounded person. Spell check wouldn’t catch this kind of error, so it’s always useful to have someone else proof your resume. Also, if you coordinate and plan amazing parties and it’s a lucrative business, by all means expand on these accomplishments. But if you just like to party, you might want to omit this little tidbit.

10. And number ten?

“Experience includes: Night Stalker, Whole Foods Market.”

I don’t think this is what he really meant. At least, I sure hope not!

What funny resume “oops” do you have, either your own or others’?

Photo by duncan

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Early = on time, and on time = late. We all know that bit of interview wisdom. But when is early TOO early?

Recently, a candidate showed up an hour before the interview. That’s too early.

I had one hour of unscheduled (i.e. meeting-free) time that day, which “Mr. Smith” disrupted with his uber-early arrival. When the receptionist told me that Mr. Smith was there,  I had to stop what I was doing and respond. Had I, God forbid, made a mistake in scheduling? It was unlikely but possible. The receptionist checked for me, and it turned out that no,  Mr. Smith *knew* he was an hour early. I asked the receptionist to suggest Mr. Smith go out and get some coffee.

These exchanges left me growing more and more irritated. I forced myself to focus on my projects at hand,  pushing Mr. Smith out of my mind. But it was a bit of a struggle and an annoyance to boot.

Honestly, by the time his interview rolled around, I was feeling a little pissed off. If you’re a job seeker, that’s not the way you want to start an interview, right?

Arriving an hour early for your interview is like showing up an hour early for a dinner party. It’s disruptive to your host, not to mention presumptuous.

When you interview, obviously it’s great to allow extra time in your travel route, and it’s great to show enthusiasm, etc. But if you arrive as early as Mr. Smith, do yourself a favor and kill some time before making your entrance.

• Go get coffee.
• Go for a walk.
• Meditate in the park.
• Practice your interview answers.
• Read or listen to music in the car.
• If you live in DC, go drive around the beltway one more time.

And then, ten minutes before the appointed time, saunter in relaxed and prepared. Perfect timing!

Image by LeoReynolds

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This summer, my in-box almost crashed after I advertised an HR position.

Nightmare!!

Never again, I resolved, would I slog through such a deluge. I quickly implemented several application tracking systems (ATS) to help manage the resume flow.  When candidates  tried to email or fax applications, I stubbornly showed them “the hand” and redirected them to apply online.

Fast forward several months. We have a high profile, hard-to-fill position. The resumes have sloowwwwwllly trickled in, and none have had me jumping up and down. (Have you seen me jumping up and down? If not, you got to see it!!)  Some resumes were lackluster, some atrocious, a few adequate but not inspiring.

Then today, out of the blue, a perfect candidate dropped off a resume to the front desk. The resume quickly passed hands and made its way to my my office.  Glancing over the document with my highly practiced (cough, cough) eye, I saw:

• Flawless resume. No typos, errors or formatting issues.
• A beautiful, natural writing style that made me froth at the mouth with envy.
• Cover letter painstakingly customized to the position.
• Well established connection to our nonprofit mission and purpose.

I took notice. I phoned the candidate fourteen minutes into her drive home; and later that afternoon, she came back for a first interview.

The lesson to my job-searching friends is that sometimes it’s okay to break the rules. I must stress:  I really, really want all my applications to come through my ATS. But I also really, really want to fill the position. If the perfect candidate breaks the “rules” to drop a perfect resume under my nose, believe me, I will set the rules aside and take notice. After all, the outcome is more important than the means designed to achieve the end. Especially when the resume and cover letter flow like silk, with no jarring errors to distract me from the message that she/he is a perfect match for the job.

In this economy, it’s worth considering doing something different. Mail your resume. Drop it off. Overnight it. Put it on a Tshirt or billboard.

None of this will work with a crappy resume. But if you a the perfect candidate with a top notch resume, the chances are in your favor that you might be noticed.

Photos by  SOCIALisBETTER’s and Ari V

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